Zoom is fucken cancer.

If they’re exhausting or frustrating to you, then you’re doing something wrong as a parent.

I’ve got all the time in the world for my kid, and I’m happy for it to be that way. If you think I’m an idiot for doing so, so be it.

You doubt that being a parent is a great job?

I do and I love being a parent. Best job in the world.

Kids are exhausting? Really? Wow. Dont know what sort of kids you’ve been around.

Kids haven’t forgotten how to have fun, they don’t anything including themselves too seriously, and they ask all sorts of funny and zany questions.

As for drinking around kids: you never had a BBQ or get together with families?

This will be everyone in Gaza when rapey gets in power.

Capt’n Pugwash and Seaman Stains will both be out of jobs.

Press both simultaneously, while twisting the joystick in a “C” motion, to launch a fireball.

Ohh you evil fucker

That’s my ringtone for when the wife calls my mobile!

Wait until you hear about L’Oréal nazi.

You’re living up to your user name.

VR is great when playing Warthunder in aircraft, where you can easily track an opponents plane while maneuvering your aircraft after them.

For tank and naval battles - meh.

Do you have candles burning on it?

It wasn’t unplugged, but Sid Vicious used his bass as a bat against Brian Faltin in Texas.

Puke on the singers shoes

We were so poor, we use to get grandad around to decorate our Christmas tree by sneezing snot onto it.

“Bit more on this side, grandad!”

We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o’clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, out Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

Ha bacteria! It’s not the water you should be worried about.

It’s the quart gallon of vodka I wash it down with each night, as I try to blot out my existence.

Fuck you bacteria (and my liver), I WIN!