My prescription stopped changing in my late 20s.

I’m almost 40 so I know that time is coming to an end.

I like reminding my single friends that 73% of Americans are considered overweight. 41% are obese.

A shocking amount of my male friends are overweight or obese and refuse to date overweight women.

Is it? You didn’t use any.

Fuck I want a cigarette now.

I am absolutely the bunny. Because I’m moisturized and just had my hair done, but I’m also completely done.

Binged (the search engine) and binged (the eating disorder/content consumption method) look identical and this fucks me up.

I got a warning on an ADHD sub reddit for posting too much.

It’s the biggest reason I stopped making memes.

Appreciate it but your comment got auto corrected on two instances of “causal” to “casual” by commie.

I do want to warn you it hits hard. The album hits hard and the visuals really twist the knife.

The last time my boyfriend heard “colder than a witch’s tit” he reached over and touched my boob ans said, “Well they feel pretty warm to me so you need a better system of measurement.”

I’m probably gonna marry him.

I’ve only played a few minutes of Witcher 3 so far and even I know Ciri is an apprentice to Geralt! I said to myself, “I don’t know who these people are yet but I guess she’ll be the main character in a sequel.”

I want to open it overseas! Export some actual American culture.

I also want to have special football nights where we put the game on and do snack food appetizers. Pigs in a blanket, a couple crackpots of little smokies, chips and dip. There’s a big sign out front that says when we offer tea we mean southern style sweet tea, so please ask for unsweetened if that’s what you want!

So many ways this could be done right.

This just solved it for me. That is exactly it. I’ve been angry at stairs my whole life and now I realize it’s because I go up them as fast as I walk- which is considerably faster than most people I know.

Moissanite is the absolute best.

What on earth is a snack bucket?

I’m not guessing nothin.

I do the same.

“Here’s my thoughts. But since the consequences of your decisions are yours, make sure you want to listen to me.”