Giuliani is still confused why Trump likes looking into the shiny blank glass. Also why garlic makes him bleed

Is it an urgent space-gem?

“This is journalism,” Lemmy Claims to be News Outlet

I never said it was pleasant. But sometimes some types of pain are the right kind of pain.

Example of the opposite: when I’m swapping a switch in my old-ass house, sometimes I’m too lazy to turn off the breaker. When I inevitably shock myself, I say “dammit” because I’m trying to concentrate, not discover my preteen proclivities.

Edit: well slap me silly and call me a liar, I literally said the words “some pain can be pleasant.” I blame this error on undeserved confidence and complacency.

Life when “a Vector is Victor & his dog, Yondo”

My arm once got pulled into an electric fence when I was a kid and I couldn’t stop getting shocked until someone physically pulled me away. It was more of a self-control issue than accidentally bridging the gap.

That was the day I learned that some pain can be pleasant. The owner of the property didn’t seem as pleased with my discovery as I did. He had to shut off the fence and yanked my arm away and then told me to go explore my perversions somewhere else. I was too young to understand the word “perversion,” and I’m now eternally grateful to that poor unprepared rancher.

Why would billionaires sue themselves?

Have you ever met a toddler? Try doing peekaboo 4 times with a 3-year-old and then tell them you’re bored. Unless you’re willing to deal with screams for 16 hours, you’re only about 996 peekaboos away from a satisfied toddler.

Locking an iphone for only 10 years sounds like a toddler with a short attention span.

North Panamarica

Some say the end is near

Yelling “Meep morp… Zarrrp… Rooooobot”

GMO air is just as good as organic air, you hippie! I’m sick of all you wooden tree-huggers telling me how much better you are. I hug cell towers painted like trees and can feel how much it hums with love. In fact, my doctor says it’s causing my heart to swell, which is how I know my love is real! My doctor even told me I need to stop, but I know it’s just cuz he’s super jealous.

So that you can put it back later, store the excess air somewhere safe, like a spare bucket

Yay! Street pills!

Me looking at that rabioli

How do they even afford to eat???

Lots of experimenting

I’m sure someone has. It probably tastes like popcorn or something

Why… Wh- what? Do you sweat blood?

I’m Waldicus