It’s not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he’d shag a settee. That he’d bone a book stand. That he’s creamied on the credenza.
Don’t trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he’d never do it! He’s chaste with the chaises. He’s never loved a loveseat.
My VP would never fuck furniture.
I have a KIVIK in my room. Never thought to have coital relations with it though. Pretty sturdy ottoman. The Ottoman Empire would be proud of the Swedes for it.