Sometimes you feel like eating garbage. I make some of the most delicious smash burgers I’ve ever eaten, but some days I gotta go pick up a $1.29 hamburger from Burger King to ruin my day juuust right.
I just don’t understand smash burgers. I want my burgers moist and dripping down my mouth.souvide and sear, or sear a chuck steak and grind it if your super worried about food safety. I haven’t done either but they should be good. safe a juicy. full disclosure, I’m writing this from the shitter and there have been many more times today so food poisoning might be an issue for me or its ibs. dunno. I’m probably not going to pass a strict food safety thing.
And that’s why mine are the best. I don’t smash them so aggressively and start with super cold beef so that I end up with something crisp, slightly greasy, but nice and juicy.
If you want a shortcut and don’t mind something a bit more processed, just buy Birchwood frozen patties. They turn out surprisingly great.
do you do them outside to get the high heat and smoke taken care of? griddle? cast iron pan? I’m just saying the best burgers I’ve ever had were an inch thick and raw in the middle and that’s hard to forget. damn I want a burger now. I’d happily try yours. depending on how old you are you may have never had a “danger” burger. they kinda went away in the late 90s with mad cow.
I used to make 3/4-1 1/2" patties, essentially half a pound of ground beef on a regular sized bun. I kinda grew tired of them, though, because that’s how my mom made them my entire childhood. I started trying to stuff them with various things or cheeses, but I eventually realized how much I was disrespecting the meat.
Now I cook them indoors under a vent hood on a 500° griddle. I gently form 3 large meat balls, usually with about 1/3lb of ground 80/20, then put those in the fridge so they don’t get too warm. Barely grease the griddle and then sprinkle some salt and pepper over the top of the meatballs before putting them seasoned side down on the griddle. Then I make 3 small piles of frozen diced onions, sprinkle salt and pepper on them, and put a little bit of butter on top just before I smash down each of the 3 meat balls into smash patties. Then I sprinkle a little salt and pepper on each of the patties. By the time I’m done seasoning the raw side, the very edge of the patties have begun to brown and the onions are becoming translucent. Finally, I flip the patties into the onions and gently press down. I grab my plate and the patties are done, so I’ll immediately remove them from the heat. Cheese, no cheese: lady’s choice. Toss the bun halves on the griddle over the burnt onions and burger fat for an extra-flavorful toast, then dress the bun. By this time, the patties should have rested enough, so I build the burger.
That first bite is bold, salty, somewhat sweet from charred edges, and delicious. But every bite in the middle is meaty, seasoned, oniony goodness. Each patty has a hot-pink center and charred exterior and it’s fucking amazing.
I looked up birchwood. I don’t think they have them around here but we have bubba burgers which are also pretty good in their own way. far from smash burgers as they are cooked frozen and already formed though.
Yeah, I don’t use those for smash burgers. You technically can, but they tend to delaminate more than they smash. Obviously a good healthy sign when you have delaminating meat.
Done right, smash burgers can still be juicy. The key is to realize that they only need to cook for literally 60 seconds or so because they’re so thin.
Sometimes you feel like eating garbage. I make some of the most delicious smash burgers I’ve ever eaten, but some days I gotta go pick up a $1.29 hamburger from Burger King to ruin my day juuust right.
You can still get a fast food burger that cheap?
It’s about the size of a cookie, but yes. The price is probably the most delicious part
I just don’t understand smash burgers. I want my burgers moist and dripping down my mouth.souvide and sear, or sear a chuck steak and grind it if your super worried about food safety. I haven’t done either but they should be good. safe a juicy. full disclosure, I’m writing this from the shitter and there have been many more times today so food poisoning might be an issue for me or its ibs. dunno. I’m probably not going to pass a strict food safety thing.
And that’s why mine are the best. I don’t smash them so aggressively and start with super cold beef so that I end up with something crisp, slightly greasy, but nice and juicy.
If you want a shortcut and don’t mind something a bit more processed, just buy Birchwood frozen patties. They turn out surprisingly great.
do you do them outside to get the high heat and smoke taken care of? griddle? cast iron pan? I’m just saying the best burgers I’ve ever had were an inch thick and raw in the middle and that’s hard to forget. damn I want a burger now. I’d happily try yours. depending on how old you are you may have never had a “danger” burger. they kinda went away in the late 90s with mad cow.
I used to make 3/4-1 1/2" patties, essentially half a pound of ground beef on a regular sized bun. I kinda grew tired of them, though, because that’s how my mom made them my entire childhood. I started trying to stuff them with various things or cheeses, but I eventually realized how much I was disrespecting the meat.
Now I cook them indoors under a vent hood on a 500° griddle. I gently form 3 large meat balls, usually with about 1/3lb of ground 80/20, then put those in the fridge so they don’t get too warm. Barely grease the griddle and then sprinkle some salt and pepper over the top of the meatballs before putting them seasoned side down on the griddle. Then I make 3 small piles of frozen diced onions, sprinkle salt and pepper on them, and put a little bit of butter on top just before I smash down each of the 3 meat balls into smash patties. Then I sprinkle a little salt and pepper on each of the patties. By the time I’m done seasoning the raw side, the very edge of the patties have begun to brown and the onions are becoming translucent. Finally, I flip the patties into the onions and gently press down. I grab my plate and the patties are done, so I’ll immediately remove them from the heat. Cheese, no cheese: lady’s choice. Toss the bun halves on the griddle over the burnt onions and burger fat for an extra-flavorful toast, then dress the bun. By this time, the patties should have rested enough, so I build the burger.
That first bite is bold, salty, somewhat sweet from charred edges, and delicious. But every bite in the middle is meaty, seasoned, oniony goodness. Each patty has a hot-pink center and charred exterior and it’s fucking amazing.
fuck man. you made me hard.
I looked up birchwood. I don’t think they have them around here but we have bubba burgers which are also pretty good in their own way. far from smash burgers as they are cooked frozen and already formed though.
Yeah, I don’t use those for smash burgers. You technically can, but they tend to delaminate more than they smash. Obviously a good healthy sign when you have delaminating meat.
Done right, smash burgers can still be juicy. The key is to realize that they only need to cook for literally 60 seconds or so because they’re so thin.