Biscuit in a tin
Is this some American thing I’m to European to understand?
They’re self rising Pillsbury biscuits (or similar). Not what Americans call cookies that Brits call biscuits
And yeah, they come in a tube. The plastic/papery wrap is structural to keeping the pressure on them. It’s pretty neat packaging design. This is the first I’ve heard of the little pop being considered scary though
People with broken flight or fight responses (usually due to trauma, not always involving loud noises) hawe issues with the loud pop, even when you know its coming causes the flight or fight response and takes a lot of effort to calm yourself down.
Its not scary per se, its aggravating a broken somatic response.
Loud pop? It just makes a little thud when you whack it.
Totally fair!
Hyper sensitive people can be terrified of them. It’s kind of funny in a mean way, like tossing a firecracker at an unsuspecting friend.
Tossing a lit firecracker at an unsuspecting friend is a bit beyond mean.
And the biscuit tube is frightening. Sometimes, I chase my girlfriend around with a half-peeled one.
The little metal end part can become a projectile and hit you in the face.
Well don’t face the metal part towards you then!
Surely that attachment is significantly stronger than the sidewall. Even if you tried I think you’d just split the sides along the spiral impression and couldn’t launch the top
They always go flying off when I use the “smack on the corner of the counter” method of opening them 🤷🏻♂️
I always wondered why the instructions were so emphatic that it specifically be opened by pressing a spoon against the side of the seam and today I learned its because this guy keeps trying to lose an eye and they don’t want to be held liable for that.
Pretty good example for why RTFM.
I popped one open on my cat’s head one time and they never forgave me :(
Sounds fun to me. I would laugh if it happened to me.
Don’t think of a sweet dry disc (what Americans call a “cookie”), think of a thick round doughy scone, slightly salty and buttery, designed to receive either sweet (various jams or jellies) or savory (fried cured meats, eggs, cheese) accompaniment.
It’s funny that this distinction needs to be made every time biscuits are mentioned in the post. There were some very confused non-Americans in the comments of a biscuits and gravy meme the other day
Too late, I’ve already dipped me Hob-Nob in me mug o’ Bisto.
But we also have cookie dough in a tube too
True, but in my experience opening the tube is nowhere near as violent. Biscuits in particular, I suspect by virtue of their yeast content, cause the kind of danger referenced here.
think of a thick round doughy scone, slightly salty and buttery
If they’re made right, they’re close to cylindrical croissants.
Every biscuit I’ve ever had has been way more dense than a croissant
You should be able to tear the biscuit apart into thin layers that are only a little more dense than a croissant.
I’m European, Swedish, and these have been common for over a decade. Most common here is in “pizza kits”, you get one tube like in the post but with pizza dough and a glass jar of tomato sauce with herbs.
I’ve actually seen these for croissants and pains au chocolat
If you like incredibly shit-tier croissants and pains au chocolat
There are also a lot of dough based things in a tin sold in Europe. I know that a French company is selling everything in cans under the german brand “knack & back”; bread rolls, croissants and even pizza dough
American biscuits, closest you have are scones iirc
Funny. I’m American but I don’t eat cookies or biscuits. So I figured this was a British thing.
Did Guy Fieri, of all people, actually tweet that?
No. I’m sure that’s either photoshopped or a parody account.
Always thought they spent time designing the packaging to cause it to pop as a marketing gimmick. Only fun memories here
no it’s TERRIFYING!!!
I just smack the tube on the counter
Whop your wad on the counter!
The pullout technique
Ask not for whom the biscuits pop; they pop for thee.
He who fights with canned biscuits should look to it that he himself does not become a canned biscuit. And if you pop long into an biscuit roll, the biscuit roll also pops into you.
Praise be to canned biscuits. Amen.
Don’t you whack the tube on the edge of the counter any more?
To all those afraid of opening a biscuit container there’s a trick.
Gently peel the label off, then smack them on the counter long ways (long edge flat against the counter)
The scary part about opening them is using a minute amount of force and having them pop with many times the energy. When you apply a significant amount of force you’re expecting the thud and the pop isn’t scary at all.
Do people actually do the spoon thing? I always hit them on the edge of the counter.
I never knew there was any other way until just now lol
I just peel them a bit and twist
Is that no longer the way they tell you to open?
They all say what the OP image shows. Peel it open and pierce it with a spoon.
Doesn’t the dough expand in whatever you put it in? I wouldn’t want to open a pressurized can. A cardboard tube is much better.
Be a manly man and twist the container open by rotating your hands opposite of the seam’s direction. If you get in some real manly grunting and groaning you’ll be pleasantly surprised to know that your manly courage won’t be questioned because everyone will focus on the body.
Only way to do it.
Edit- apparently some people bash the can on a counter. Sounds even more fun I’ll have to try.
Just give it a good scream like you’re playing tennis
Screams are right after the grunts in my opinion. They come uncalled.
We make our biscuits and cinnamon rolls in these parts. Worth the few more minutes effort. So no pop here. No judgment though, we are all busy.
I also make my own cinnamon rolls and it’s way more than a few minutes effort. Mix, rise for 1.5 hours, roll out, roll up, cut them all individually, another hour rise, and then you can bake them.
Granted, I do everything up to the baking and then freeze them, but it’s way more than a few more minutes.
Then again, now that I make my own cinnamon rolls I can’t stand anyone else’s.
(I don’t make biscuits so maybe they’re easier)
Biscuits are way easier.
There’s a lot less steps
Sometimes you feel like eating garbage. I make some of the most delicious smash burgers I’ve ever eaten, but some days I gotta go pick up a $1.29 hamburger from Burger King to ruin my day juuust right.
You can still get a fast food burger that cheap?
It’s about the size of a cookie, but yes. The price is probably the most delicious part
I just don’t understand smash burgers. I want my burgers moist and dripping down my mouth.souvide and sear, or sear a chuck steak and grind it if your super worried about food safety. I haven’t done either but they should be good. safe a juicy. full disclosure, I’m writing this from the shitter and there have been many more times today so food poisoning might be an issue for me or its ibs. dunno. I’m probably not going to pass a strict food safety thing.
And that’s why mine are the best. I don’t smash them so aggressively and start with super cold beef so that I end up with something crisp, slightly greasy, but nice and juicy.
If you want a shortcut and don’t mind something a bit more processed, just buy Birchwood frozen patties. They turn out surprisingly great.
do you do them outside to get the high heat and smoke taken care of? griddle? cast iron pan? I’m just saying the best burgers I’ve ever had were an inch thick and raw in the middle and that’s hard to forget. damn I want a burger now. I’d happily try yours. depending on how old you are you may have never had a “danger” burger. they kinda went away in the late 90s with mad cow.
I used to make 3/4-1 1/2" patties, essentially half a pound of ground beef on a regular sized bun. I kinda grew tired of them, though, because that’s how my mom made them my entire childhood. I started trying to stuff them with various things or cheeses, but I eventually realized how much I was disrespecting the meat.
Now I cook them indoors under a vent hood on a 500° griddle. I gently form 3 large meat balls, usually with about 1/3lb of ground 80/20, then put those in the fridge so they don’t get too warm. Barely grease the griddle and then sprinkle some salt and pepper over the top of the meatballs before putting them seasoned side down on the griddle. Then I make 3 small piles of frozen diced onions, sprinkle salt and pepper on them, and put a little bit of butter on top just before I smash down each of the 3 meat balls into smash patties. Then I sprinkle a little salt and pepper on each of the patties. By the time I’m done seasoning the raw side, the very edge of the patties have begun to brown and the onions are becoming translucent. Finally, I flip the patties into the onions and gently press down. I grab my plate and the patties are done, so I’ll immediately remove them from the heat. Cheese, no cheese: lady’s choice. Toss the bun halves on the griddle over the burnt onions and burger fat for an extra-flavorful toast, then dress the bun. By this time, the patties should have rested enough, so I build the burger.
That first bite is bold, salty, somewhat sweet from charred edges, and delicious. But every bite in the middle is meaty, seasoned, oniony goodness. Each patty has a hot-pink center and charred exterior and it’s fucking amazing.
fuck man. you made me hard.
I looked up birchwood. I don’t think they have them around here but we have bubba burgers which are also pretty good in their own way. far from smash burgers as they are cooked frozen and already formed though.
Yeah, I don’t use those for smash burgers. You technically can, but they tend to delaminate more than they smash. Obviously a good healthy sign when you have delaminating meat.
Done right, smash burgers can still be juicy. The key is to realize that they only need to cook for literally 60 seconds or so because they’re so thin.
What weakling needs a spoon? You just twist while squeezing
I prefer the counter slam.
My partner makes me open these when we get them. They’re so afraid to do it, it’s like a jump scare every time.
Ditch the spoon. There’s a reason they’re called whomp biscuits. Whomp the side of the tube hard against the edge of the counter, with enough force to dispel all fear. It makes the pop feel right, expected, not scary. And the tiny violence gives a feeling of dominance.
I just push on it with my hand
These things terrify the fuck out of me.
on more than one occasion i’ve had them detonate in my hand and launch biscuit dough out of the kitchen and across the next room, a distance that boggles minds and terrifies gods.
Peel the outer layer, turn away, bang it on the counter. That way you’re in control vs. having it explode in your hand.
That only works if the dough is fresh out of the fridge. If the dough has time to warm up then that outer layer is structural and beginning to peel it will explode the dough in one’s hands. It is a nasty surprise.
Guy’s a philosopher
